Richard’s Thoughts

R.I.P Agatha, September 8, 2009

Glenn and I (well, mostly Glenn because it is his cat) made the decision to put Agatha to sleep this week. It was time–we knew it, and she was ready for it. For the past year, she had been battling an aggressive cancerous tumor. I don’t want to dwell on that.

Instead, I just want to remember the good times that we had. Whenever I was feeling down, she would hop up in my lap–even the night before we put her to sleep–and comfort me. She purred and talked to me in her own way.

Now, two days after “it” happened… I walk around the house and can’t help but think of the times she sat with me on the couch and followed me up and down the hallway to the bedroom, the kitchen. I look at the doors and see where she laid across the doorframe–showing that she wanted the freedom to go outside, but not wanting to stray far me while I worked on manuscripts and graded students’ papers. The past couple of nights, I’ve found myself looking in the closet at the place where she slept the last few days of her life. I know she’s in a better place now, and she’s not having to fight cancer.

But, I really miss her. I lost a good friend on Tuesday.

When I was out in San Jose this summer, I redecorated Glenn’s living room for his birthday and helped install landscaping lighting in his front and backyards.  It got me thinking that this was something I really could easily do at my own place.

It’s not a secret that I have always wanted to do something with my little backyard, but I never really thought that I could do it on my own.  And, since I don’t really make enough money to hire a landscaping crew, I’ve ignored my backyard…. until this weekend!

When I was at my parents’ house two weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to try to do it the one weekend I was going to be in Raleigh in August.  So, we went to go price landscaping fabric and rocks.  I knew what I wanted to do… a rockgarden.

Well, I finally have a nice backyard   It took me all weekend (6pm Friday – 4pm Sunday), but I finally got it done.  It took more than 150 bags of rocks and cost about 600$ all together.  But, it’s so worth it.  I’m finally proud of what my backyard looks like.  And, I’m even more proud to say that I did it all by myself.

It rocks… literally!

A view of my newly redesigned rockgarden

So after one month of nothing being posted here… two posts in one afternoon!  How about that.  Just look at me go.

I spent last weekned at Disney World again.  I got to work a few shifts at Fantasmic and even did a six hour stint as the Tower.  I had a blast.  Now, I’m back here in Raleigh with work.  I enjoy work, and I love what I do.  My department’s great.  I’ve been very successful with my research and writing.  Even my students and classes are wonderful.  But for some reason, i just can’t get over that happiness obstacle in Raleigh.  The city’s great, and I’ve met some great people here both at and outside of work.  But for some reason, happiness just evades me here. 

I’m not sure why that is either.  Part of me wonders if simply is that there’s not enough of my type of entertainment in this area.  I was here in Raleigh for a month before this last trip to DisneyWorld, and I was getting very antsy and ready to get otu of town.  The trip to DisneyWorld was a spontaneous, wake-up-one-morning-and-go type of thing.  I wasn’t really going down until May 10.

I’ve often wondered if anyone else ever felt that way… that even though things are going well in all aspects of life, that something’s just not right.  I’m not sure if its happiness, even though that’s what I titled this posting as.

Who knows…

Oh, before I head out for the evening, I thought I’d describe this dream I had this morning.. just in case something goes horribly wrong in the coming week(s).  I was comfortably asleep in my dream when all of a sudden something woke me up.  I was being tossed around by a few people in those ski-mask/hoods.  Well, I started pulling the mask off one individual who surprisngly didn’t put up a fight.  I pulled it off, and there was a goateed white guy beneath it.  He gave me this look of surprise, and then he shot me dead in bed.

I woke up after that dream.  So needless to say, I’m not hanging out with goateed white men this weekend!

Phonebooks.

I abso-fucking-lutely hate phonebooks. I hate the actual book itself, and I hate the idiot companies who deliver these so-called “useful” things to my home.

In the past month, I’ve received 4 phonebooks from 4 different companies. In the last 3 years, I have used a phonebook once–in a hotel that didn’t have WiFi access.

Quit ripping up trees out of the ground to print these god awful things. They just go right in the recycling bin. If I could, I would send them back to the companies through the Post Office as “Return to Sender” but the damn things get left on my doorstep.

God damn, phonebook companies, get in the 21st century. No one wants this crap except for old people. Give me the option of opting out of receiving them at the very least!

bastards!

On the road again... Just can't wait to get back on the road again

So, I bought a home on June 20, 2008.  As silly (or strange) as it may sound, I’ve probably not spent more than two weeks at a time in my new place yet.  On Sunday, March 8, I began my longest stretch of time in the place.  I’m here until Sunday, May 3 (other than a 2-3 day trip to Virginia to go to Busch Gardens and meet Glenn’s mom).  It’s a very strange feeling.  Nice, but strange.  I definitely am feeling the urge to get out and go somewhere.

Why is it that the people that you’re closest to often seem to be the ones who aren’t there when you need them to be?  I’m in a bit of a mental funk right now.  I”m not sure where to go with this or what road I’ll be headed down.  This might as well have been topsy-turvy week, cause everything seemed to turn upside down and inside out.  Here’s to hoping that next week will be different… otherwise, I may have to seek medication.